


You Haven't Changed a Bit

by brookwrites



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Soulmates, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Dan Howell/Phil Lester One Shot, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 08:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13360755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookwrites/pseuds/brookwrites
Summary: Phil has spent night after night obsessing over finding his soulmate. What he doesn’t know is that the answer has been right in front of them the whole time.





	You Haven't Changed a Bit

“You haven’t changed a bit.” 

“Yes, Mum, I know,” Phil replied. It was the most common, overused joke on the planet, and, quite frankly, it was very demeaning. He was aware that he hadn’t found his soulmate yet. He was aware that it had been nearly four years since he’d aged even in the slightest. Sure, he’d cut his hair, but his body truly hadn’t changed a bit.

Phil sat alone in his childhood room on New Year’s Eve. He had taken some wine with him and sat, slowly sipping away as he wondered how long it would take. He wondered if he’d have the ill fate of waiting hundreds of years for his soulmate. If his soulmate hadn’t even been born yet, even though they’d be the same age when they finally would meet. If his soulmate lived across the world, where they’d never have a chance of meeting. If the system was flawed and he didn’t have a soulmate at all. 

No, he assured himself. Phil had a soulmate, of course he did. Everyone did. He just had to find them. Phil watched as the clock struck midnight, and as he took a sip of wine he made himself a promise; this year, he would interact with people more, scourging the campus, the country, and the internet. In 2009, he would find his soulmate. 

That was a night Phil looked back on in disgust. It was the beginning of a new, unhealthy era of his life. Every year he told himself he’d find his soulmate, every year he obsessed over doing so, and every year he failed. It seemed like disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. In 2009, he really thought he had found the soulmate he’d been looking for in a young boy named Dan, although after they met they became best friends, and nothing more. 

Phil could still remember the fateful day of October 19th, when Dan ran to him at the train station and nestled his chestnut hair in Phil’s neck. At that point, he had thought they could have had a future together. He even took a picture of the two of them that day. He’d intended to look back on it a few years in the future and admire how much they’d both changed, how much they’d aged since they found each other.

But they never amounted to anything. 

Phil remembered, even more vividly than the happy memory, the specific moment when he realized Dan wasn’t his soulmate. It was when they were filming their first YouTube video together. They called it Phil is not on fire, a witty play on the two of their channel names. At the end, he heard Dan say “This is the most fun I have ever had” and that threw him into motion. The moment he heard it, all he could hear was the loving tone, the sense that one day with Phil was better than the rest of his life back home. And that was all it took for Phil to crack a tiny smirk and find himself on top of Dan. The two were giggling like schoolgirls, Phil watching lovingly as Dan smiled beneath him.

“Phil, what’re you doing?” he managed to get out, still beaming enough for Phil to admire his snow-white teeth. That was when he realized he was mistaken. 

Phil looked into Dan’s golden brown eyes, and he saw confusion. He saw playfulness. He saw happiness. But he didn’t see love. Dan smiled, laughing and enjoying himself like the good friend he was, but he didn’t love Phil. He didn’t want Phil to lean over and kiss him like Phil wanted. He didn’t want the same thing Phil wanted. They weren’t soulmates. 

It took all of Phil’s emotional energy not to leave him then. Not to push him away for the rest of the weekend and never text him again. Not to forget about the boy he loved just because they weren’t soulmates. But not doing all those things turned out to be the best decision of his life. Almost two years later, they were best friends, moving in together in an apartment in Manchester. Phil was thrilled, but he was also terrified.

Phil sat in his new room, surrounded by boxes. The room was bare and empty, its only inhabitant the bed, still without its sheets. Phil would begin unpacking tomorrow. Dan wouldn’t be arriving for a week or so, leaving him alone with his thoughts, and all they were giving him was fear and confusion. He couldn’t figure out what he was afraid of. He’d lived in Manchester for months; he knew his way around the city. This had nothing to do with moving house in general. It was moving in with Dan. 

Phil still had minor feelings for Dan. Just a little bit. Okay, a lot bit. But that didn’t matter, because Dan didn’t have feelings for him. Yet they were moving in together as platonic best friends. Phil stared out his bedroom window, watching the lively city skyline. Plentiful streetlights and apartment lamps lit up the city, creating a beautiful array of light. How could Phil possibly be uncomfortable here? 

Phil racked his brain, digging through his own thoughts until he finally decided to accept what he knew he was worrying about the entire time. 

He was worried that moving in with Dan meant he’d never find his soulmate. 

It felt like he was giving up. 

He really wasn’t; there was still plenty of time to find his soulmate, and they were by no means settling down. But it still felt like they were. It felt as if they were going to live together forever, and as much as Phil wanted that, he wanted to live with his soulmate, and Dan wasn’t his soulmate. It was becoming a bigger and bigger fear to Phil that he never would find his soulmate at all. 

It wasn’t that he wasn’t content with spending the rest of eternity with Dan, but it still bothered him that there was someone out there who was meant for him. Someone who was literally made for him, and who he was made for. It bothered him that he couldn’t find them. 

Phil took a deep breath, still staring out the window into space. Maybe it was time for him to give up. He was happy where he was; there was nothing wrong with his life. Maybe it was time for him to start living the life he had and see if fate brought him together with his soulmate. Maybe it was time for him to settle down. And that day in that empty room, he decided it was. But still, the thought of his soulmate lingered in the back of his mind for another year. 

This time, they were moving to London. 

Phil’s life had changed so much in the last year. Not only had his YouTube channel grown, but he and Dan were becoming radio hosts. The entire situation was completely surreal. Phil couldn’t believe he and Dan had amounted to as much as they had. He was so proud, not just of himself, but of both of them.

“Look at this place,” he said, going wide-eyed as they stepped into their new apartment. It wasn’t the first time they had been there, but it was the first time it was really theirs; it was the first time it became home in Phil’s mind. 

“Yeah,” was all Dan could say. It was amazing, the two of them moving in together again. Phil was more convinced than ever that he and Dan would stick together forever, especially with their exponential growth as a duo act online, but he was in a much more positive place about it mentally than a year earlier. 

The two took time to settle in and appreciate the city from the comfort of their own apartment before beginning their show. Their first show was a bit rocky, but they knew they’d get used to it. When they were finished, they were greeted by a gleeful crew wanting to congratulate them on their achievements. Phil personally just wanted to go home and relax, but he played along with their party and actually ended up having a great time. Mostly because there was cake, but that was beside the point. 

As the celebration was winding down, suddenly out of nowhere there was a screen and projector produced. “We thought we’d take you on a trip down memory lane from where you first started to where you are now,” he heard someone say. And then they were sitting on the floor watching a slideshow of their achievements. There were cringe first videos, laughs, cries, and incredible growth. The first three were entertaining, but Phil found himself focusing on the last. Watching the two of them grow up on a screen made him realize that they had been growing up. 

They’d been growing.

They’d been changing. 

They’d been aging. 

Together.

Dan didn’t know how he could have been so oblivious. He had never thought of Phil as soulmate material; to him they were just the best of platonic friends. He hadn’t even thought too much about soulmates. Dan had much more important things to worry about than his love life and whether or not he was aging. But it wasn’t until he watched that slideshow that he realized how much he and Phil had changed together. It was the most logical solution, and it only took a few minutes of thinking to realize that he’d been repressing feelings for Phil for years. He could only wonder if Phil was thinking the same thing. 

They returned home that evening in silence; it seemed they both had the same thought process, given that neither attempted to converse like normal. Obviously neither of them thought the night was normal. Upon reaching their apartment, each of them immediately retreated to their respective rooms, shutting the doors behind them and hitting their beds. Dan looked up at the wall behind him; on the other side of it was Phil, the man who was likely his soulmate. He turned his body and placed a single hand on the wall, as if reaching out to Phil. He needed to talk to him. 

Dan knocked softly on Phil’s door. “Can I come in?” 

A soft “Yeah” came from inside the room, and Dan creaked the door open. He saw Phil on his bed, looking disheveled and staring at his phone. 

“What’re you looking at?” He handed the phone to Dan, collapsing back against his pillow. “Is this from the first day we met?” 

Phil nodded. “Dan, look how much we’ve changed. Look how much we’ve grown and aged together. What does this mean?”

“Well, Phil, in my mind it probably means we’re soulmates, although there’s no way to be sure.”   
“We can’t be,” Phil said, tears beginning to rim his eyes. “I’ve spent the last two and a half years convincing myself that you weren’t my soulmate. I saw your innocent smile after I tackled you that first night. You aren’t in love with me.” Phil rotated around, facing away from Dan, who leaned over and took his hand, flipping him back over to face him. 

“Maybe I didn’t then. But I might be now.” 

“Really?” Phil’s glassy, colorful eyes stared into Dan’s. 

“Really.” There was silence for a moment before Dan finally asked the question on both of their minds. “Do you really think we could be soulmates?” 

Phil took a deep breath. “Well, there’s only one way to find out.”   
There, in the dark emptiness of their second apartment together, their lips connected, and they both knew. 

“Merry Christmas!” Dan and Phil shouted in unison as Phil’s mum opened the door for them. 

“Merry Christmas, boys!” she said, beaming. “You two-” she paused, looking the two of them up and down. “You two have changed so much.” 

“Yeah,” Phil said, taking his soulmate’s hand and squeezing it. “Yeah, we have.”


End file.
